

Their mom overcompensated for their dad’s absence and pandered to his needs. Their dad was very confident, a work-horse and didn’t spend much time with the family.

Person A grew up with a very self indulgent dad and an anxious mother. Between the ages of 0-7 the two hemispheres of the brain are firing and wiring as you absorb the conditioning from your families, friends, schooling and society like a sponge.Īs you observe the way your guardians give and receive love, the communication between your family members, how love and forgiveness are portrayed in the content you consume and how the society you live in views and judges love and relationships, you begin to develop your personal belief systems.īy the time you’re 8 years old your belief systems about relationships and self-love are deeply ingrained in the subconscious mind and will impact all of your decision-making into adulthood without you even realising it. The shadow self is deeply connected to childhood development. Why do you struggle with relationships? Where does your communication style come from? How were you loved as a child? What do you think about yourself? Why is it so hard to show yourself love?ĭelving into the repressed memories of your childhood is a powerful way to access the answers to these questions and figure out where your self-sabotaging behaviour comes from. In order to practice shadow work you have to question the subconscious assumptions that you have about relationships and self love. This process can be quite challenging as you confront all of the conditioning that has led to your struggles with relationships and self love. Shadow work is the practice of bringing awareness to all of the issues relating to your shadow self.

If you have battled with issues relating to relationships and self love in the past, then the odds are you have repressed trauma that is affecting your behaviour. The more that you repress these feelings, the darker the shadow self becomes. Carl Jung, the renowned psychologist who coined this concept states that “everyone carries a shadow, and a battle rages within”. We often repress our shadow selves because we’re too scared to confront our difficult pasts, negative qualities and bad decisions. It’s the place where we store our greatest fears and deepest desires. The shadow self is all of the parts of yourself that you have kept hidden due to trauma, shame, guilt or fear.
